How To Develop A Healthy Relationship With Fear

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” (Mark Twain)

Photo by Mario Azzi on Unsplash

For the majority of people, fear is the master that dictates how they act within the world. This is normal and natural but it comes from a weak perspective.

The question that we should ask ourselves is, “Are we in the drivers seat of fear or is fear in the drivers seat of us?” This will determine whether we develop a healthy relationship with fear.

Why do we feel fear?

Obviously, a major component of fear is physiological and we feel it because it serves an evolutionary adaptation. Fear is a signal for us to either fight, freeze, or run and this has served us well in our ability to survive as a species.

At the most fundamental level, we feel fear because we are programmed to feel it although we don’t have to let it control us in our modern environment.

Here are some common fears that are ever present in our modern environment:

Social fear is a major fear because we evolved to be a part of the group for our very own survival.

Fear in regards to time is a major source of suffering for most people. Many people fear the repetition of the past as well as the countless possibilities of the future.

Many people fear the state of their health and what possibilities might arise within that context.

Fears about money and finances is a major fear that manifests within our society today.

These are just a few of the major fears that the majority of people succumb to. It is definitely not a comprehensive list so be on the lookout for more of these widespread fears.

Below, we’ll discuss how fear holds the majority of people back from moving into higher level of personal growth and achievement.

How Fear Holds Us Back

Fear is responsible for holding the majority of people back from the life that they truly want to live.

The guy who wants to talk to that cute girl is held back by fear of rejection.

The son or daughter is held back from having the conversation that they want to have with their parents because of fear of an authority figure as well as fear of social conflict.

The individual who wants to work on his or her business procrastinates because he or she feels a fear of failure or a fear of success.

We fail to try new things and gain new experiences because we fear the unknown and novelty.

We fail to tell our friend that we think they are engaging in destructive behavior because we fear a negative backlash from them.

Fear is ever present within our environment and it bleeds into every part of our lives.

The fears and doubts are an inherent part of life. They will always be there whether you are a highly successful individual or whether you are struggling to make ends meet.

Think back to a time when you felt fear and pushed through the resistance of fear anyways. Can you picture it clearly? How did it feel? What did you do?

Notice, this feeling of fear was always present. The difference is that you decided to take action despite the fear that you felt and this gave you power and momentum. You didn’t give into the false notion that you shouldn’t feel fear. Instead, you felt it and decided to walk through it anyways.

Here is one of the most effective ways to overcome fear: The dream has to be bigger than the fear. You have to aim for something so big that the fear ceases to hold you back. It’s all about the vision of what you want because if you can master that then you can master fear.

The solution lies in cultivating a powerful vision that transcends the fear.

Fear can either be your worst enemy or your best friend and that is for us to decide when it comes to how we approach it.

The Fear Signal

Fear acts as a signal for us to move in the direction of growth. In any circumstance we find ourselves in, fear is generally a great indication that we should move forward into the fear because on the other side is personal growth and meaning.

When you fear going up to that girl that you think is cute, go up and introduce yourself.

When you fear starting an exercise plan, start the exercise plan.

When you fear saying something that needs to be said to a friend, say it.

When you fear trying something new that would expand your horizon and perspective, immerse yourself in it.

When you fear starting a business of your own, start it.

Fear is extremely useful when treated with a mature and wise approach.


Cultivate a healthy friendship with fear and a true sense of meaning will overwhelm your life. Decide to step beyond your comfort zone and embrace being uncomfortable.

Writer. Autodidact. Competitive Soccer Player.

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