The Difference Between Shallow & Deep Friendships

“Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.” (Euripides)

Friendship may sometimes feel complicated, but it turns out that recognizing your true friends can be surprisingly simple. There are some fundamental elements that every close bond — including those with family and romantic partners — shares: To call someone a friend, the relationship must be long-lasting, it must be positive, and it must involve cooperation. That’s the three-legged stool that friendship rests on.

Remove a leg of that stool, though, and your “friend” may not be there for you when you need them — and being able to count on someone in a crisis, say the researchers, is the whole reason we have friends in the first place.

How can we tell the difference between shallow vs deep friendships?

There are some common pattern that we can identify in both types of friendships.

Shallow Friendships:

1. A lack of communication
2. A lack of attention being payed to one another
3. Not being there when each individual needs social support
4. Constant criticism
5. Constantly arguing
6. A lack of understanding

Deep Friendships:

1. Constant/Frequent Communication
2. Paying full and undivided attention to one another
3. Being there when each individual needs social support
4. Praise & constructive criticism
5. Conversing to find a solution to a problem or issue
6. Full understanding of the other person’s emotions and needs

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” (Lucius Annaeus Seneca)

Deep friendships have a powerful quality to them because there are very few contexts in which more than one individual has such a deep and intimate relationship with one another. These deep friendships are the one’s that stay with you for the majority of your life. These are the people whom you are unbelievably comfortable being around and talking…