What To Do When You’re Lost In Life
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
J. R. R. Tolkien
The feeling of being lost in life isn’t a pleasant one, but you can learn how to embrace the unknown and use it to your advantage.
As a 23-year-old, I have gone through a few periods where it felt like I was the only sailor navigating life’s ocean.
My most crucial experience manifested when I was in England as an 18-year-old, far from home in Southern California.
My passion and childhood dream for professional soccer sent me halfway across the world to get an opportunity to share my gift at the highest level.
It was an amazing experience, but then, bad news…
One morning, I received a phone call from my heartbroken mother that my father had his second heart attack and was now in a coma.
I didn’t know how to react.
My mind was silent for the next few days, still processing my reality.
I still vividly remember that moment as if it happened yesterday.
There was nowhere for me to turn, nor was there anybody to speak with about my pain. Considering that I couldn’t afford to stay any longer to fulfill my dream, I was lost in every sense of the word.
Looking back on that period, I learned a lot about myself, the world, and how strong I am.
Perhaps that’s why people call me “wise” for a young person.
I was able to navigate those waters, even though it felt like my world was crumbling from under my feet.
Once you go through something like that, every other hardship in life becomes a relative cakewalk.
The tools that helped me navigate my darkest moments.
Maybe you do or don’t have a similar story to mine, but I can guarantee that you’ve felt lost.
I spend a lot of time thinking back to that experience and transforming my entire philosophy on life.
Here are three key insights that I want you to take seriously.
- Self-reflection is a skill that creates strength.
Before receiving that news, I wasn’t one for sitting with myself and thinking about navigating everyday experience.
Yet, everything changed once I realized that I would likely never see my father again from his most loving and powerful self.
I was forced to go deep into meditation.
From that point forward, sitting alone in silence became a priceless tool on the journey to becoming the strongest version of myself.
You navigate the traumatic emotional storm by going deeper into pain, not by avoiding it. When you feel terrible, it’s a sign that you must think about the root cause of that feeling.
Most people unconsciously choose to forget about their pain through addiction and distraction, yet nobody teaches them that it creates more suffering in the long run.
Freedom stems from the conscious choice to confront whatever weighs you down. Reflect on your life when everything seems to go against you.
You will rise from that experience a better person.
2. Spend time with your muse.
Soccer has gotten me through a lot in my life; it’s what I know best and is the inspiration that spills over into every other aspect of my life.
Personally, the most effective form of therapy when my father died was to step foot on the field and lose myself in the art.
It’s likely going to be a different activity for you.
Maybe it’s painting, starting an online business, or writing; the most crucial thing to do is cultivate it.
Many have no concept of a muse, but I can assure you that you have certain inclinations. There are one or two activities that you feel drawn to and cannot stop thinking about.
You can use self-reflection to think about what those activities might be and then choose to triple down on them.
When in doubt, do more of what you feel drawn to, which will become your therapy during difficult times.
3. Learn as much as you can.
I pride myself on having a voracious appetite for learning; curiosity is a personal strength.
I believe that direct experience teaches you the most about yourself and supplement it with high-quality information.
Great books and Youtube videos were there for me when my father died.
Through that habit, I learned more about a myriad of concepts and philosophies from different wise perspectives.
I improved my relationship with death, health, creativity, and many other subjects because I was willing to learn about them in a moment of excruciating pain.
The great thing about living in the 21st century is you have the internet at your disposal. Use it to learn about what you’re going through because, inevitably, others have grown from it.
Struggling with the death of a loved one? Study grief and how many others like you have healed with the understanding of mortality.
Dealing with health problems? Buy different books on the subject and experiment ruthlessly.
Every problem has its solution.
Feeling lost is a normal part of life.
Some ignorant people will shame you for feeling lost because you choose not to follow the conventional path.
I was never one to get a normal job and do what the average person does.
The sooner I understood that I would feel lost many times in life, the more effective my healing.
Not knowing what to do with your life isn’t a reflection that you’re inherently bad or worthless; it is the process of self-mastery.
Any wise or successful person you speak with will admit that they’ve repeatedly been through the experience.
Dark moments are inevitable, but it’s your duty to cultivate the light through personal development.
Don’t blame your dysfunctional family or a chaotic world for your problems.
Instead, choose to take responsibility for what you feel and do, and I guarantee you will create a path that finally begins to make sense.
Your most difficult moments are an opportunity to grow stronger.
Everybody in the personal development realm speaks about the importance of a growth mindset.
I have no problem hammering the same message repeatedly and sharing my experience because it has the power to change your life.
Most people in your life have a fixed mindset and believe that they are victims of what happens to them.
The internal story you create about yourself becomes true, for better or worse.
You’ve been through difficult experiences; we all have. But it serves you no good to think and act like the majority because the world needs more people who choose to shine in the face of darkness.
Do everything in your power to develop a growth mindset.
I hope you’ve taken my story and message to heart because it’s as fucking real as it gets. Few can open up about their harsh past, so consider this a gift.
I share this with you because I want to see you win.
Maybe a few of you will achieve success and let me know that this helped you immensely on that path.
